Does she ever learn?

 Emotions.
Does she still feel them?
She is numb and frozen,
Yet it dimly sparks like a dying gem.

 Passion.
Why is it so strong?
She was deprived from it.
Devils has done her heart way too many wrongs.
Killed was the lust,
Lost was the temptation.

 Lord, hear her prayer oh so dear.
Her heart is aching; her mind isn't clear. 
Her love has left her; it hurts her soul.
Without that love she doesn't feel whole.

He will never know
she wants to run, she wants to hide
From all the pain he caused inside.
she wants to scream, she wants to cry.
Why can't she tell him goodbye?

Will she ever learn? 

He hurt her bad; the pain is deep
From all the promises he couldn't keep.
All the lies she heard him say
Are in her head and just won't fade.
She can't silence them in her mind. 

Sometimes she asks herself.
Sometimes, someone else asks her
That same question
Why can't you leave? 
Sometimes the question is intense.
Sometimes it preoccupies her mind for days

However the doing is not as easy for her .
She wishes it could be as simple
Simple as the way it is in her mind

She prays for courage 
To walk up to him
To tell him she has been bleeding 
She has been hurting on the inside 
That she wants to be free

She wants him to understand 
She wants to be free
She wants to be happy 
Again, like her 13 year old self  
Who would wake up at dawn
ready to conquer the world

She doesn't know how to free herself
She doesn't know what she is scared of
Whether she is scared of him 
Or scared of the person she has become 

After some thought 
She decides to stay
Theirs is a love hate relationship 
She is not sure 
Whether she still loves him,

 Is it that she is scared of leaving him 
Or is it the thought of being alone 
She accepts that she is scared 
Of herself 

She has become  her own monster
 She can't be alone
 At least not for this moment 
 That's what she tells herself 
 She just has to be more patient with him
 Understand him more
that's what she whispers to herself every night 
wiping her tears to sleep 

 Will she ever learn? 

 She knows she is slowly dying on the inside 
 her insides are crying for her 
 her heart is crying 
 for her to come back 
 to come back home to herself

 Perhaps this is how she heals 
 This is how she finds closure
 Perhaps this is how she gets her answers
 As to why she was so naive
Why did she think this boy was going to be her solution
 A solution to all her problems 
 This boy shall be her ending 
 This boy shall be her death 
 
 Will she ever learn? 
 
 Perhaps this is the start of her journey home
 Else this is going to be her ending 
 Because on monsters, 
 they never stop,
 until  they make, for themselves, other monsters
And in the end it's going to be her
She is also going to become a monster,
She is going to become him

She has to leave 
Else this is going to be her death
This is going to be how it ends